It’s been a tough week physically and mentally! A week of battling a flare-up with the wolf, coming to terms with medication changes, a higher dose of steroids messing with my emotions, attending lots of medical appointments, and thinking a lot about what the future may have in store for me. It’s been a tough week! By the end of the week, my mood had become very low, to the point where I was in tears over not seeing the northern lights because I was too unwell to get out of bed to go out and hunt for them. Yes, crying over ridiculously daft things. But I guess that’s what a low mood does to you!
When my mood gets this low, I know I have to do something to sort it out! Overwise, it just gets worse, as it did at the beginning of this year when I was shielding.
We’ve Had Super Strong Solar Winds
The solar winds have been super strong this week. It’s not often you see them this far down in England. It was my decision not to go out to see them. But then when you wake up in the morning seeing everybody else’s fantastic photos, it put me in tears. I was envious of the people who saw them and extremely bitter to the wolf for stopping me from being well enough to go out. I was feeling rubbish with the wolf, and then this on top was just the tipping point. If it was too cloudy it wouldn’t have bothered me so much. It was the fact it was perfect conditions, they were dancing above the house, but the wolf stopped me from seeing them.
You might think they are just the northern lights, but I am somebody who will book a trip to Iceland just to see the lights. If it was the weekend, I was not in a middle of a flare-up, and Casper wasn’t having work done to him, I would have driven out into the country, away from light pollution, to a prime spot to see the lights dancing away. I know you probably think I’m crazy. More so when I tell you, I’ve already seen the northern lights twice before, but no matter how many times I see them, I just want to be back out seeing them again and again! Maybe I should move out to Iceland and become a northern light tour guide?
Here’s a photo that was taken in the Finnish Lapland on our GoPro above our ski resort about 4 years ago: (photo quality not brilliant due to taking it on GoPro as we didn’t have any proper camera with us on that trip!)
‘Getting Our Kicks On Route 66’
Enough about my bitterness over the lights, and yes I’m still feeling very bitter over it today. I might get over it by the end of next week! On a brighter note, we decided to go ahead and book our honeymoon, Route 66 for the 2nd time yesterday. It’s something we’ve been needing to sort out for a while now, but I’ve been on edge about it with the pandemic. But I’m glad we had gone and booked it. It’s helped to boost my mood, and given me a bit of positive hope for 2022. I feel like my normal pre-pandemic life is slowly starting to return. The life that use to make me happy! The life that evolved friends, family, and travelling not just the UK, but the whole globe.
For anyone who is new on here, we were meant to get married and have our honeymoon back in 2020. Just days after my hen-do, 2 months before saying, ‘I do’, the annoyingly C-word decided to change our plans, and everything got cancelled. We then moved it all to this year. But again, it didn’t go ahead. We’ve now moved it to 2022. There’s no reason for it now to not go ahead unless COVID-22 decides to come along or any other virus of its kind.
I know some of you may be thinking are you sure you want to take the risk of travelling and catching COVID? It’s gone through my head so many times! Even now I do question if it is safe to do? Is it worth the risk?
Last month I had quite a few different conversations with people. I explained how I am unhappy. How I miss seeing friends, family, and travelling. Three things that were a big role in my life. Three things that make me really happy. I couldn’t go on any longer not seeing my friends in person, not going around to my parent’s house, or my sisters. Travelling wasn’t so bad as we have our van, Casper. So in a way, I can still get my travel fix. But I do want to get married next year and do my life-long dream honeymoon, Route 66. Plus, there’s a big world out there I want to explore before I get too poorly to do so or before my holiday insurance becomes unaffordable. We booked holiday insurance yesterday for America. I was shocked at how much it cost to insure me. How much difference two years has made. I think it’s my hernia that has put my insurance right up as I guess there’s a risk it could become strangulated a need emergency care. Either that or it’s the COVID risk and me needing hospital care. I don’t know, but one thing I do know, it’s a lot more money!
Here’s the last time I was on Route 66, driving the California stretch with my family back in 2014:
How I’m Living The Pandemic Now
In my opinion with COVID now, I am still being very careful as I don’t want to catch it, but at the same time doing a bit more. I need to for my own mental health. Whenever I see family and friends, we all take lateral flow tests. I know now they are a lot more accurate than they have ever have been. One of my friends even detolled her whole house before I came round for extra protection for me, which I thought was ever so thoughtful. Just seeing my friends again in person instead of through video calls has made a massive difference to me. I still wear face coverings if I’m out and about in public places. I’ve had 3 doses of the vaccine and stopped my Methotrexate on the 3rd dose, so hopefully, that would have given me a good antibody count. There’s also a lot more treatment out if I was unfortunate to catch it, including that new tablet, so hopefully, this would prevent me from becoming seriously poorly.
At the end of the day, COVID is going to be around for many years. I don’t know what my future has to bring so it is important I live in the moment and make the most of life while I can. At the end of the day, you have to do what you feel comfortable with and look after your own mental health. You have to find the right balance between the two. We’re all taking our own journeys through this pandemic. Whichever journey you choose to take, it’s ok. There is no right or wrong path to take. Do what makes you happy and what you feel comfortable doing.
Update On This Week’s Medical Appointments
I had bloods on Wednesday, that all went ok. Thursday I had my X-ray to test for TB. I know I don’t have, well I don’t think so. Okay, it’s highly unlikely I have it, it’s just protocol to start my new treatment. Before anyone starts any biological medication, you have to be checked for a list of viruses. Or with my Rheumatology, any new treatments they seem to like to send me for an X-ray. I feel like I have yearly ones with them! Surprised I haven’t grown an extra arm or leg from all the radiation. Say that, I flew out to Japan a week after the earthquake in 2011, when it hit the nuclear power point. I think everybody thought I was going to come home from that trip glowing green. Don’t worry I was absolutely fine. To be fair, I was miles away from it. It’s like something happening in Scotland and me living in Yorkshire. It’s not going to really affect me is it?!
I have my eye hospital appointment on Friday. That went well in the sense my eye muscles haven’t got any worse, so my double vision is stable. However, my eyesight has decreased slightly. But I mean that could be old age right? I am getting older at the grand age of 32 now! So I now have to go and fork out for some new glasses. It’s nearly Christmas, right? Does anyone want to buy me a pair? I can send you my prescription through the post đ I quite like the pair that have cameras in them! Though, I don’t think I can quite justify paying the price for them! Especially, when my glasses don’t seem to last me very long. So anyway, it looks like I’m going to have to have a trip out to Specsavers in the coming weeks. To be fair, it will be nice to have pair without a stuck-on prism, which the hospital has fitted onto my current pair of glasses.
Anyways, that’s it from me. Going to get out this afternoon with the camera to take some photos of the autumn colours. We’re off to some woodland near me. I’m feeling a bit better with the wolf today, but not ready for any good hikes yet, so a potter with a camera is a better idea. I’m just desperate to get out in some fresh air. It is the best medicine for boosting my mood, which I need right now. I might then stop crying over the northern lights!
This week has been a bad week, but next week is going to be better. It’s been an overwhelming two weeks. Life is a rollercoaster, you just have to ride the waves. When times are tough, you have to remind yourself, it won’t stay like that, better days are on the way.
Until next week,
Goodbye for now
Emma
xox
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