This week’s blog is going to be a short one! I’m currently not very well at all. I’ve spent most of the weekend in bed sleeping. I actually started this blog at lunch, but couldn’t keep my eyes and went back to sleep. So here is my 2nd attempt at writing it today!
I don’t really know what’s going on with the wolf, and why he is so unhappy at the minute. I guess he’s thrown a strop over my spring booster, which I had on Wednesday, and the fact I’m not on my Methotrexate at the minute.
For anyone who doesn’t know, whenever I have the Covid vaccines, I have to stop my Methotrexate injections for two weeks, to allow my body to create a good antibody count. Every time, it leaves my body in a fragile state. Methotrexate is one of my most important medications, that keep me feeling well. However, I’m not normally as bad as this! I don’t know if maybe I’m worse, as my body had only just recovered from my April flare? After any flare, I know my body can stay quite fragile for a while.
I’ve really had enough with the wolf! I just want my life back! I want to be well like I was back in March. It makes me cry thinking about how strong my body was. How I was well enough to be climbing mountains, living life at full pace. Alex has been sat editing all our Vlogs from our minimoon this weekend. I know when I watch them, I’ll be in tears. It’s hard enough looking back at my photos, seeing the big smile on my face, seeing how happy I was, doing what I loved. But I need to keep telling myself, I will get back there, I’m just having a rough few weeks. And to be fair, when I really think about my health this past year, I’ve actually had one of the strongest years since diagnosis. I can’t tell you how grateful I am for it! I just currently need to keep reminding myself of that!
My honeymoon is a week on Friday. I’ve said to Alex today, that if I’ve made no progress by Wednesday, I will have to inject myself with my Methoreate, and hope one week of creating antibodies is enough. I just need to get myself well for America. We’ve had is road trip planned for 4 years. It was meant to happen in 2020, and again in 2021. If I fly out there and am too unwell to do the things I have planned, it will destroy me mentally.
I question if having the vaccine on Wednesday was the right decision. I knew my body wasn’t strong enough for it, but still went ahead with it. I tried to work out what was more important, having the protection in America, or getting my body strong enough for America, but then risk becoming more unwell if I was to catch it. Basically, there was no easy answer. At the end of the day I choose to have it, and now I have to deal with it! And I’m sorry Mr Wolf for upsetting you. Please, can you forgive me and be kind to me once again?
Anyways, that’s it from me this week.
Until next week,
Goodbye for now
Emma
xox
If you would like to be notified each week, when my blog goes live, straight to your inbox, please subscribe here:
(don’t forget to check your junkbox for the confirmation e-mail!)
My book, How I Tamed the Wolf, Living with Lupus is available on Amazon via this link:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B09M73X2JQ/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_MWAF58981F0VVMNRV1WN
