The last few days I have found tough. I’ve watched my mental health decline, to a point were I keep crying for no reason. I’ve been out for a walk both days this weekend to try and help me feel happier. My mental health improved while I was out, but as soon as I’m home, it declines again. I just feel so sad, off my food, and wanting to sleep all the time. But I’m trying to do the right things to help me get through this. Forcing myself to do things I know that normally make me happy.
I feel like the 3 months of shielding has caught up to me. I feel lonely and isolated from the world. The routine I have is the same routine day in, day out. Weekdays and weekends all merge into one, with very little to look forward to. Memories pop up on social media, reminding me of the good days when we could travel carefree. This time 2 years ago, I was in Florida. Then other memories pop up about my hen do. Around this time last year I had my hen do, it was also around the same time Alex and I had to cancel our wedding, and I went into shielding. If our wedding does go ahead next year, it will almost be 1 year away. Yet we feel we can’t start to count down, nor send out new invites to all our guests with the new date on, as nothing is certain.
Shielding gets paused at the end of the month. I’m anxious about coming out of my safety bubble, how scared I will be on the 1st of April as I rejoin society once again. However, I am looking forward to having face-to-face contact with people again, and a bit of normality. The 1st day will be the hardest, but I know after that I will be ok, and I know it will help my mental health.
Asthma Nurse
I had a telephone appointment with the asthma nurse this week. She explained how I should not be using my blue Salbutamol preventer inhaler as much as I am. She was like, you should only be using that inhaler twice a week max. I’ve been having to use it sometimes as much as 4 times on my runs and walks.
She’s prescribed me a steroid inhaler called Beclometasone. I’ve now been using it for a few days. Today, on my walk I didn’t have to use my blue inhaler at all. This is the first time in a long while I’ve not needed my inhaler while out walking. So I hoping that’s a good sign my new inhaler is doing the job. She’s made another appointment in a couple of week’s time to see how I am getting on with it.
However, since I’ve started to take my new inhaler, it was when my mental health has started to decline. I know oral steroids do have an impact on my mental health. Can steroid inhalers too? It’s more steroid going into my body so I do wondering if it is having an impact.
I would like to say I’m getting super strong with all my weight lifting and steroid treatment: my oral steroid, a steroid inhaler, and a steroid nasal spray. However, I really don’t think I am. I ordered 25kg of Epsom Salts last week and I couldn’t lift it! Bit embarrassing when the Amazon driver arrives at the door and you can’t lift your own parcel!
Anyways that’s it from me this week. I have bloods next week, my mouth is currently full of ulcers, and my rashes are continuing to get worse. I’m looking forward to going to get my bloods done. Having a bit of social contact. I never in a million years thought I would say that! However, I do feel as though having a lot of face-to-face medical appointments this year has helped me get through shielding. It’s only really been the last 3 weeks were I’ve had just telephone ones, I’ve noticed my mental health slowly get worse. It’s having that contact with people in real life that makes such a big difference.
Hopefully, next week will be a happier week.
Until next week
Good bye for now
Emma
xox
