I hope you’re all well! I can’t believe we are now halfway through November! There’s snow forecast for next week, and we are heading to our first Christmas Market of the season! Seriously, this year is going by way too fast!
I’m not going to lie, I’m pretty excited about Christmas! I love the run-up to Christmas! Putting the tree up, going to Christmas Markets, and having cosy nights in, wrapped up in my heated blanket, watching a good Christmas movie. However, this year, our actual Christmas Day is going to be very different! We are heading to Dubai, and honestly, I cannot wait! If you are new on here, I live for my travel!
Scotland Was Our Orginal Plan
Truth be told, Dubai was never our original plan for Christmas, Scotland in our campervan Casper was. We were going to head up to the Cairngorms and spend Christmas surrounded by the lovely snow-peaked mountains. But for my own well-being, we soon decided that was not good idea, especially how upset I was after our Outer Hebrides trip. So Dubai got booked! A trip where the only thing I’ll be looking up at, is the high-rise building. If I want to get a view at the top of one of them, I can just catch the lift up!
When I was last in the Cairngorms, the wolf was like my best friend. I was out hiking every day, climbing mountain, in snow, walking miles, and felt strong, it was great! But if I was to travel there this Christmas, them memories would just haunt me. I would be sat in Casper looking up at the mountains, a reminder of what I once could do, and currently can’t do. I would want to be standing at the summits, yet unable to get up there. It would do nothing, but make me resent my body, the wolf, more and more.
This was the same issue I had in the Outer Hebrides, I kept comparing what I could do a year ago, and can’t now. It made me feel completely heartbroken! Sad that the wolf has taken something I love away from me again!
Not The First Time
It’s not the first time the wolf has done this to me! About 6 years ago, it was the same story. I was on the verge of binning my walking boots because I didn’t think I would no longer be able to hike again. I truly thought that part of my life was over, and felt so sad. But it wasn’t! I came back from it! I got stronger once again (with the help of the right medication), and I was back climbing mountains!
I believe it will happen again!
Focus on Now
It’s so easy to get lost in the toxicity of comparing life when it was good with the wolf to how it is now. But as soon as I stop that, and start looking at where I was at the beginning of this year, and how I am now, I realise how far I have come on my treatment. How much better I am doing, how much more I can do, and that I should be very grateful for.
Hopefully one day, I’ll be back climbing mountains. But for now, I need to appreciate what I can do and focus my energy on that. That’s exactly what I did last weekend!
I wasn’t well last weekend! I couldn’t do any walking as my chest was too inflamed, but I knew I needed a change of scenery from my being stuck at home, so we got away. We drove around in Casper, finding beautiful park-ups, and sent the drone up to capture all the gorgeous Autumn colours. It was lovely!
A Rough Couple of Weeks
It’s been a rough few weeks with the wolf since having my Iloprost. The stress of the Iloprost had a knock-on effect on my body as always. Then on top of that, I was without my Belimumab for two weeks, which then left me in a bit of a nasty, painful flare. I’m not sure what went on with my prescription. But as you can imagine I was very stressed, making lots of phone calls, and when my body was already struggling after the Iloprost, my body then went without one of my most important medications. So, it was never going to end well!
Thankfully, I’m starting to feel a lot better now! I’m back on my Belimumab, and I’ve been on a higher dose of steroids, which I am now slowly tapering back down to my maintenance dose.
That’s it from me this week! Not sure when I’ll be back next with a blog as I’ve got a few busy weekends leading up to Christmas, but I do plan to get one out before I head to Dubai.
Next week, we’re heading up to Edinburgh Christmas Markets in Casper which I’m very excited for! Somewhere we’ve been trying to get to the last few years, but other things have got in the way!
Until next time.
Goodbye for now
Emma
xox
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